I want to not only be a good example in my successes but in my failures.
That’s right. I want to be an example to my kids in my failures.
I’ve had various levels of success in my life. However, I feel that the failures define who I am as much (if not more) as the successes.
One of the most recent failures comes to mind. After working for many years to have a photography business (working, learning, practicing, etc), I realized that it was time to let go of that pursuit.
I had to realize that the dream I had wasn’t consistent with the life I was living. No matter how hard I worked, it wasn’t happening for me on a level that could be considered financially successful. Life would consider that a failure. In fact, in some ways, I consider that a failure. I couldn’t find the success that I was looking to find.
What could be a positive lesson from that?
1. Don’t let dreams keep you from happiness. Sometimes we focus so hard on attaining a dream that we fail to see the happiness that is already surrounding us. Bottom line: I was chasing my dream and missing out on the happiness that was already mine.
2. Quitting isn’t always a bad thing. It is a much greater failure to continue on a path that isn’t good for you.
3. There are some things more valuable than the world’s view of success. I have refused to compromise my morals, principles or values to achieve success. I have refused to compromise who I was to get where I wanted. Getting where I wanted wouldn’t have been a reward if I had given up who I am.
4. Sometimes what you want isn’t what is best. Many times in life I’ve faced what looked like failure only to find out that it was just an obstacle removed in order for me to achieve something better.
5. Hard work isn’t always the answer. The world would tell you that if you work hard for something you will get it. Some “religious” leaders would tell you the same. If you don’t get it, then you aren’t working hard enough. I don’t believe that. Sometimes things just weren’t meant to be. You might not see the reason at the time but you’ll probably be able to look back in the future and see the benefit. I’ve been let down in my life by not having a door opened that I worked hard to open only to find out that the next door was something that I hadn’t even thought of and was even better!
6. Everything costs something. What are you willing to pay? I’ve had opportunities where I could have pursued success more vigorously. However, that would have meant giving up something that I wasn’t willing to give up. One of the big things to me is family. I wasn’t going to kill myself pursuing a business only to discover that I had lost all the quality time (weekends, evenings) with my family that could never be recovered.
7. Sometimes your plate is too full. I found myself trying to be successful at so many things that I wasn’t able to give my best to all of them. Teaching homeschool (with special circumstances), photography, theater, church obligations, studying/learning my daughter’s special needs and how to help by myself, being mom/wife/sister/daughter….It all became too much. You need to know your limits. In order to be good at anything, I couldn’t do it all. I had to retire my Super Woman cape. And I had to realize that was OK. Being a better me was better for me.
8. Always trust God. When God leads you, go. He always leads you the right way…even if you don’t understand where you are going. He will give you the strength/skills/etc. to do what He needs you to do…and sometimes that isn’t what we are trying to do.
So, there it is.
I was hoping that this post would sound more profound. But it’s pretty simple.
I want my children to learn that what looks like failure might be success and what looks like success might really be failure.
If I give up my family for personal success, I’ve failed.
My goal in life is happiness. I’ve spent my entire life searching for happiness. It just so happens that happiness to me is probably more simple than happiness to others.
I don’t have to have the fancy cars, the expensive purses, the designer clothing or a big house. I don’t have to have the titles after my name or the big paycheck.
I want love. I want happiness. I want to give my family the best of me…not what’s left over. I want to be myself and be accepted for who I am.
I value God, love, happiness, family and who I am.
If I can’t have these things, I will never have a success that is worth it.
….And not one of those things can be purchased with money.
