This has been a very emotional weekend for me.
Friday, my little girl turned 11 years old and we celebrated. Not only was it her birthday but her
birthday wish had come true: Her big sister came to see her. (We
haven't seen her since Christmas time.) I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the joy on her face when her sister surprised us. I cannot tell you the joy that I felt having both of my girls with me.
I couldn't help but think back to the year that my youngest daughter was born. She was welcomed into this world on a Friday. I remember the feel of her warm skin against mine. I remember the joy of meeting her in person. I also remember the tension as complications threatened my life. I also remember the doctor telling us that something was wrong and that she would be transferred to a neonatal unit over an hour away. I remember the heartbreak of watching my baby leave. I remember the reluctance of the doctor as he released me against what he would have done otherwise. I remember the smell of the neonatal unit. I remember holding to the few moments that we were allowed to see her for the next few days.
I remember Mother's Day. I remember the hurt of not being able to hold my newborn baby in my arms. I remember the pain of our family being separated. I remember the sadness of not being near either of my girls for long enough.
I tried to enjoy every minute of being around my girls this weekend...because I knew that it was limited. I needed to hold onto that joy.
I remember being a young mom and holding my babies. I remember how being a mother was the best thing ever! I remember feeling love that I had never known. I remember holding them and never wanting to let them go...
I wish those moments lasted forever...
Because I still want to hold them and never let go...
