Boston Dillinger

Introducing our new addition...our Boston Dillinger! :)

With my hubby's 15 year old lab mix getting near then end of his life, we had talked about the addition of another dog. (My sister got me a dog after my cat of 11 years was diagnosed with kidney failure and not expected to live long. My cat lasted six months and my dog was such a comfort when I had to let her go. From a personal perspective, I wanted that kind of comfort for my hubby who was already struggling with the thoughts of letting go.)
We discussed many breeds...We discussed gender, color, personality...We wanted to find the perfect fit. We finally decided that we would get a boston terrier. My hubby had owned a boston mix before and I thought they were adorable so that decision was made. Then we decided on a male...since we've had better experiences with male dogs. We even decided on the name...Dillinger...unique and very masculine. :)
It would be several months before we would be able to add to our family. After all, finding a boston terrier to adopt was proving to be next-to-impossible...with all their hoops to jump through, the distances and the long line of adopters. There was always the breeder route...which we looked into too. I personally wasn't wanting a puppy since I didn't want to go through that stage...but my hubby disagreed there...So that one was kinda undecided. Whatever the case, all of them would require money that we don't have to spend right now so we were content to wait.
That was until my hubby saw a litter of cute little beagle mix puppies. (No, beagles weren't even on our list. And we don't even know what the daddy is.) The mother dog had been abandoned while pregnant. A stray, she found shelter in the form of a neighbor's porch. My hubby told me about the litter and how cute they were. I reminded him that beagles weren't the type of dog that we were looking for (there were several reasons that I had NOT to have a beagle) and this would be our last dog for a long time so we needed to be picky. But he couldn't stop thinking about one of the pups in particular. He was even more concerned when he was told that the mother dog was gone...It was suspected that she was killed. I finally told him that I would support whatever decision he made. He came home several days empty handed. I had come to the conclusion that he had decided not to get one of the abandoned pups when he showed up with an adorable little handful of cuteness!

Here are some images from his first night with us...

When Boston had just arrived, this is the first image I took.  I didn't even have my camera settings the way I wanted but I quickly snapped the shot knowing that it would be a moment to remember.

Asleep in his new "Daddy's" arms. :)

So adorable from head to spotted toes! :)

Randomness:
 *I had joked that we could always get a black/white dog and name it Boston if we couldn't get a boston terrier...So we combined Boston with the name that we were going to use for our boston terrier, Dillinger...and he became "our Boston Dillinger."
*His exact age is not known but we believe him to be about 7 weeks when he came to live with us last week...which would make him a whopping 8 weeks old now.
*He doesn't look like a beagle puppy...so I get lots of strange looks when I tell people he's a beagle mix. 
*Boston is fitting into our family wonderfully! He and my hubby seemed to have an immediate bond.
*I can see how happy Boston makes my hubby and that makes me happy.
*Although he is starting to show his little stubborn side, his personality is mostly sweet and easy-going.
*He's proving to be a very smart little one.
*He's a little thing. :)
*He found a pillow and claimed it when he got here. It says "Angel."
*This week he showed me his new skill...digging. :/
*There wasn't a lot about him that fit "my list"...but I love him anyway! ♥

Featured POTD

My image, "Puppy Love," is being featured today as PhotoShowdown.com's Featured Photo of the Day.

This little fellow was staying with my family after a rough start in life. We were getting him healthy so that he could find a family to cherish him. Over the years, my family and I have "fostered" MANY animals. We've always done it as individuals so we are doing it using our own money and out of the kindness of our hearts. Each one makes an impression as we care for them...even if it is only for a short period of time. However, this little fellow made a lasting impression. I can honestly say that he was the one foster that I've missed the most.

Shelter? Rescue? Breeder? What does it matter?

Inquiry: Just wanting to know if y'all still had [insert dog name].
Response: You are one day too late. [insert dog name] is going to a rescue group. She is scheduled to be moved next week.

 _____________________________________________________________________

Do you mind if I vent a little?  There is a new trend that is getting on my very last nerve and I am tired of saying nothing.  Sit back...This one's doing to be a long one!!

I have been a huge advocate for shelter dogs.  In fact, my very first dog that I owned was a rescue.  He has since passed.  I am  now surrounded in my home by beautiful spoiled rotten rescues (3 dogs and 2 cats) of one type or another.  Many dogs and cats have called my house home for long enough to rehab and go to a new home.  Rescuing is in my DNA.  I have helped every critter that I could ever since I could imagine.  I have promoted the fact that my furry babies are rescues.  I have recommended and networked for rescues/shelters.  You get the picture...I am BIG on rescuing!

However, my love affair with rescues/shelters is growing cold.  I have seen way too many inquiries and responses like the one above.  It seems to me that shelters have become a 'shopping' ground for rescues.  It's like those people who have consignment sales (yard sales) but the first day is only for certain people and the leftovers are for everyone else...but worse, because these are little lives!

In addition, I have frequently seen people inquiring about adopting an animal only to be told that the animal is being shipped north for adoption.  In fact, one of our local "rescues" doesn't even show up as in the area for adoptions on sites like Petfinder.  Why?  Because they list the northern location where they want to find adopters...not the actual location of the pet!  I am so sure that they are thinking of the animal's welfare by subjecting it to a long transport to a strange place.  I have actually seen them go as far as to discourage local adoptions by being negative to interested persons by indicating that northern adopters are better than local ones. And they base that assumption on what???  Those adopters sending a smiling picture when the dog arrives?  Because I doubt there is much contact after that in most cases.

There are those who would say that moving them to rescues is the best for the dog because rescues can screen the potential adopters better.  Yeah.  They ask lots of questions and make you sign something that says you are telling the truth.  Then there is the vet reference.  If you never vet your animals, then you make a great first time owner, right?  Shall we continue to the clause that REQUIRES if you don't want the dog anymore that you return it to them.  Ellen Degeneres got on the wrong side of this clause which made big news.  They adopt the dog to you...give you ownership, with strings attached.  I have a problem with that. If I own the dog, then I am responsible for his/her welfare.  Am I responsible enough to take care of the animal or not?  One of the dogs in my pack has lived in three homes in my family...but he is home with my family!  All of the other homes cared for him, but he found the right fit in my home. 
Perhaps that is why they do home visits.  The irony of the home visit to me is that I look at my home (which is usually in some form of disarray between photography, homeschooling, acting, extra school activities, etc.).  Then I look at other homes (all beautiful in their decorating and cleaning).  I am not saying that it is fact but I do have to admit that I would be somewhat hesitant of a home visit because my low-key lifestyle cannot compare to the more high-key lifestyles of others that I know.  However, I also know that the love of a pet cannot be judged by lifestyle.  My babies are much more cared for (and spoiled) than many of the animals of others with more outwardly better lifestyles and more financial resources.  While this step in the process is done with their heart in the right place (I believe), it may discourage those who would be uncomfortable opening their homes to such scrutiny...not to mention, it limits the area that the rescue can cover...which brings me to the next gripe.
I hear over and over again that, no matter what breed of dog that you want, you can find them in a shelter/rescue.  This attitude is heard often to encourage adoption over shopping (buying from a breeder).  Unfortunately, this is true and false all at the same time.  True: You can find most breeds.  Less True:  You can find purebreeds (sometimes not always)...There are LOTS of dog breeds and some of them are quite obscure.  False:  You can adopt them.  FINDING an animal does not mean ADOPTING an animal. 
Years ago, I was searching Petfinder and found a dog that was exactly what I was looking for.  The drive would have been a few hours.  I contacted the shelter and talked to them about the dog.  I was ready to make the trip.  However, they adopted on a first-come, first-served basis.  As I was making plans to make a trip, someone else adopted the dog.  (Thank goodness I contacted the shelter before leaving!)  I have actually never found another dog like that dog within a decent distance.  It's a good thing that I moved on and opened myself to something new.  (I adopted a beautiful girl that I felt an immediate connection with using Craigslist.)  It would be hard to be looking for a certain breed and driving long distances to visit shelter after shelter only to be told that the dog was already gone. 
This is where rescues score points.  I notice many of them have online adoption forms.  I would be inclined to deal with a rescue that offered this option.  (This would lessen the investment if I wasn't going to "pass" the initial process anyway.) 
Many people complain about the cost of adopting from a rescue.  I, too, at one time thought that was expensive.  Then I calculated the cost of buying, getting shots and spaying/neutering (a must for me) a pet.  By that time, the cost (within reason) wasn't so bad.  So, with that hurdle crossed, I started searching to see what I could find.  My hubby's dog is very old and declining.  He has often told stories of a certain childhood dog and mentioned that he wanted a similar dog someday.   So, I went on a search.  The breed was apparently quickly snatched up by rescue groups which wasn't a problem.  The problem was that the rescue groups required home visits (with a certain radius).  That one won't work.  The other one outright said that it didn't service anyone outside their immediate area.  Ok...Moving on.  Wait...That was it.  Those were the options.

OR was it?

I could buy from a breeder!  I actually know a man who responsibly breeds his animals.  I'd never considered this option as seriously before.  Breeders are made out to be such bad people for overpopulating the earth with unwanted dogs.  But there are some responsible ones out there!!  And there are some reasons for using them. 
People with allergies have to be careful with what breed they choose. 
People who cannot find a specific breed to rescue in their area.  Let me stop here for a minute.  Some people whine that there are lots of dogs in shelters to rescue and people shouldn't be so picky.  I disagree!  Picking a dog to fit your specific lifestyle requires the elimination of certain breeds.  There are several breeds that do not work with our lifestyle.  For instance, we had a certain breed dog one time.  She became increasingly agitated as she grew older.  We were giving her exercise, discipline, affection, etc.  She was still destructive and unhappy.  We finally visited a lady (along with our dog) who had worked MANY years in rescue and talked with her about our dog.  Her conclusion:  The dog would not be happy where we lived.  The dog needed to live in the country.  We were heartbroken but when the dog went to live in the country, she was happy.  We kept in touch and saw her transformation.

Every dog doesn't fit every lifestyle.  So, yes, we are picky when we add a new family member...because we want happy forever pets!

Whatever way you bring a pet into your home, my advice is:
Do your homework.
Find a pet that fits your lifestyle.  
Search your options.
If you can rescue, do.  If you can't, buy responsibly!
And, most of all, LOVE YOUR FUR-BABIES like the precious loving creatures that they are and enjoy your life together!!!  We all deserve a love like that! ♥

    

Mom-ents

This has been a very emotional weekend for me.

Friday, my little girl turned 11 years old and we celebrated.  Not only was it her birthday but her birthday wish had come true:  Her big sister came to see her.  (We haven't seen her since Christmas time.)  I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed seeing the joy on her face when her sister surprised us.  I cannot tell you the joy that I felt having both of my girls with me. 

I couldn't help but think back to the year that my youngest daughter was born.  She was welcomed into this world on a Friday.  I remember the feel of her warm skin against mine.  I remember the joy of meeting her in person.  I also remember the tension as complications threatened my life.  I also remember the doctor telling us that something was wrong and that she would be transferred to a neonatal unit over an hour away.  I remember the heartbreak of watching my baby leave.  I remember the reluctance of the doctor as he released me against what he would have done otherwise.  I remember the smell of the neonatal unit.  I remember holding to the few moments that we were allowed to see her for the next few days.

I remember Mother's Day.  I remember the hurt of not being able to hold my newborn baby in my arms.  I remember the pain of our family being separated.  I remember the sadness of not being near either of my girls for long enough.

I tried to enjoy every minute of being around my girls this weekend...because I knew that it was limited.  I needed to hold onto that joy.

I remember being a young mom and holding my babies.  I remember how being a mother was the best thing ever!  I remember feeling love that I had never known.  I remember holding them and never wanting to let them go...

I wish those moments lasted forever...

Because I still want to hold them and never let go...

the relaxing squirrel

Last week I looked out my window to see this squirrel lounging in the tree. I figured that he wouldn't stay long enough for me to get my camera but he did. Then I thought I was pushing my luck to step out onto the porch but still he remained. He even humored me long enough for me to change position (to the walkway off the porch to get another perspective). I was struck by his calm relaxed state.

For as long as I can remember (literally), I have been a type A personality. My earliest memories are caring (and feeling responsible)for my baby sister. My personality has always been one of responsibility and obligations. 

Last year, I found myself in a particularly negative place in my life. There have been some real lows in my life that have led to depression but this was simply negative. I felt negative. My happiness was disappearing. The bad moments were clearly outweighing the good times. 

I had lost my best friend when she moved away. I found myself uncomfortable in the places that had always been my comfort zones. I felt lost, abandoned, alone... I felt that my home was the only safe place left. 

Of course, I still had my faith in God but I had no idea which direction to turn. When right and wrong is clear, it's easy for me to decide what to do. This situation was not so clear. People were disguising their actions with lies and deceit. People that I thought I knew had turned into deceptive strangers. 

Then my health decided to add its opinion..and it was not good. The stress was taking a huge toll on my health. With two very dangerous diseases, which react negatively to stress, I was literally endangering my future...my life! 

Something had to change. I decided that the change would be in me. 

For my Christmas present to myself, I purchased three books to start me on my journey. I admit that I have only read two so far but the first book I read made an impact. It was a book called BOUNDARIES by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. It was suggested to me by a friend on Facebook. (I am so thankful to that friend!) It gave me the permission that I was needing to set up boundaries in my life...to stand up for myself (not only physically and emotionally) but to allow myself not to obligate myself to try and help those who only wanted to hurt...to let go of the responsibility I felt to make things better when the stress was hurting me. It gave me permission to acknowledge my stress as my body's way of telling me that I needed to let go and not obligate myself to the negativity. 

 My goal for myself this year is learning to let go of the negative in my life. I want to be the squirrel casually resting on the tree branch without an apparent care in the world. 

I am not so good at it yet. But I'm better than I was! :)

PKD: My story

March is National Kidney Month. Yeah, I know...Everything has a month these days. Truth is that donating a month to the awareness of anything is nice but it doesn't do much if you don't have a personal interest in that subject.
Well, this month I do have a special interest due to three letters...PKD.
Don't know what PKD is?  It's polycystic kidney disease.  I don't know of ever not knowing what it is. It has been a part of my life for as long as I remember.

My daddy's dad had it.  He died in his thirties leaving my three year old dad and his siblings without a father.  Of course, I never knew him.
My daddy was diagnosed and told that he would have to slow down.  You see, it is believed that the disease progresses similar in relatives.  My daddy's didn't.  He showed them!  He didn't let his disease overcome him but rather fought through the difficulties.  He eventually had to go on dialysis.  A few years ago, he was blessed to receive a kidney transplant.

For as long as I remember, I have had to take care of my kidneys.  The problems started when I was a very small child.  I ended up being subjected to constant tests, medicines for years, frequent specialist/doctor visits, a couple of hospital visits...all before I was in the middle of elementary school.  I don't remember a time when I felt normal. 
Things got better.  I graduated high school and went to college without much difficulty.  I excelled in school and graduated with honors.  I had a dream of success and I set out to conquer the world my way!

After school, I moved away from home a few states away...Big mistake, but a learning experience.  During that time, I was hospitalized.  It was guessed that I developed a kidney infection from drinking water that my body was accustomed to consuming.  During that hospital stay, I was told that my kidneys looked clear...no PKD.  Since I was in my 20s, if it was going to show, it should have shown by then.  I felt a sigh a relief.
Life went on.  I had a daughter, moved back home and started a new life.  Although I continued to care for my kidneys (it was almost routine at this point), I lived under the impression that I wouldn't have to face the ugliness of PKD in my own body.

I met and married the man of my dreams...literally, but that's another story! ;)  Then a few weeks after we were married, a doctor's visit for side pain turned my life upside down.
I knew there was something wrong by watching the face of the examiner.  I've learned to read faces when I go for tests.  The human face finds it harder to conceal things than does silence of the lips.  Without a word, I could see something wasn't right. 
I was right.  Once the doctor saw the film, she asked me if I knew about polycystic kidney disease.  There it was...those three letters: PKD!  Of course, I knew.  I felt hostility every time I heard the words...those letters.  But this time the hostility was joined by hurt and numbness.
I remember coming home to my hubby of only a few weeks and crying.  I just kept crying.  Crying because of the shock.  Crying because I had my little girl to care for.  Crying because I didn't want my hubby and my daughter to live with the constant heaviness that those three letters represented in my life.  Crying because it was the only thing that I could bear to do.  ...And he just held me...
At least my lifestyle was already pretty PKD-friendly, so I didn't have to alter much there.  I simply had to accept what I couldn't change and pray that God would help me.  I thought that having PKD was the worst.  It makes me feel like a ticking time bomb.  It makes me have to work at controlling everything I do or consume.  It was more mentally heavy at the time than anything.

Unfortunately, my nightmare would continue to get worse.  When my daughter was in the 6th grade, she was diagnosed with PKD.  Now that tore my life apart.  It's one thing to know the heaviness of an incurable disease.  It's another to deal with the overwhelming guilt of passing that own to someone that you love without all your heart.  The next weeks and months were torture.  I won't go into details but it's hard to help someone accept something that you have a hard time accepting yourself.

I wish I could end this by telling you that everything is all better now...but I can't.  PKD is still there.  It still has no cure.  It fills me with a smaller level of hostility...but, to be perfectly honest, the hostility isn't gone.  Those three letters have been a dark cloud in my life by threatening the lives of those I love and even my own.  I don't think a love of PKD would be possible.  It's a terrible disease and I want to see it gone!!  But I have developed a tolerance. 
I live with PKD.  Did you get that...I LIVE with PKD.  While it may dictate some things that I do in life, it doesn't rule my life.  I make the choice to cooperate with PKD to make the most of the life that I have.  After all, God created me.  So, He knows what is best for me.  And with Him running my life, I'll do the best that I can.  As the years progress, I have to continue to make modifications but I am thankful that I have the time to make them. 
I don't know what the future holds.  I've been told that my disease should mirror my dad's...But that didn't happen in his case....And I'm a GIRL (big difference on the internal design all you high paid specialists!!).
It has taken me over 12 years to share this story.  But I am convinced that if you don't see a person behind the cause that it doesn't mean as much.  So, here I am!  A face of PKD!  A mom, a wife, a friend, a person...a fighter!  So, take that PKD!!!

To learn more about PKD, visit the Polycystic Kidney Disease Foundation at http://www.pkdcure.org

Being real

I visited here for the first time in a very long time today. You see, I've actually been thinking about blogging again. Sometimes getting all those thoughts out of your head is somewhat of a therapy. I've been spending time over at Facebook for lots of reasons. It's such a quick fix. But sometimes I just want life to slow down for a few minutes. I want to stop and smell the pretty flowers...not to mention photograph them. ;)

I'm currently in the middle of making some pretty dramatic (for me) changes in my life. A lot has changed in the past year. I somehow feel that it has made me a more selfish person...But I think that's a good thing.
Sometimes sacrifice can lead to people not appreciating and/or taking advantage of you. Maybe I'll post more about that later...

The most notable event of my year (and a large part of my life) was the loss of my Granny in September. While the United States was remembering another somber anniversary of a very dark day in US history, I was remembering a wonderful woman who meant so much to my life in so many ways. I was remembering summer vacations at Papaw and Granny's house. I was remembering times when Granny came to the rescue with her generosity even when I never asked. I was remembering a woman who showed the definition of kindness. Even writing this and recalling what a beautiful person that she was, tears roll down my face...I still miss her so badly.
I cry with sadness because I miss her. I cry with happiness because I was so blessed to have her in my life. I cry with hope that I could someday have an ounce of her wonderful spirit. I cry with uncertainty because sometimes I feel so lost. I cry because I have so much emotion that I have to do something.

I bring that up because I think that's a huge reason why I want to make changes in my life. I want to make my life more meaningful. Ever since I was three, my life was about performing for others. I started with singing...then competitions, acting, scholarships, college, acknowledgements, awards, etc. I have trophies, ribbons, certificates, degrees, titles, etc. to my name. Yet, all of those things are only temporary. Their glory soon fades and then a performer is left looking for the next big thing. The constant need to do something more leads to a lot of emptiness when your accomplishments cannot be seen. It leads to a lot of discontent as you always feel the need to prove yourself. Why? Because in your mind that is what defines you.

My Granny wasn't defined by her awards, her job, her titles or anything else. She was defined by her character. The true essence of who she was shined through everything else. Yes, she loved attending high school basketball games with her friends. Yes, she showed her strength as a single mom when her young husband died leaving her with three kids to raise. Yes, she loved her God and her congregation. Yes, she loved her family and helping others. But what was her reward for all of that? She was loved! Sometimes we work too hard trying to prove ourselves to the world that we don't realize that all that stuff is gone so quickly. The people who really care are the people who simply love us. We don't have to impress them. We simply have to return the love. In doing that, we are giving the greatest reward on this earth.

I John 4:18 says "...for God is love."

It's not about the awards, the degrees or any other credit that we can add to our worldly list. It's about being love. If there's one thing that I know about my Granny, she loved! She loved those around her and it showed. She didn't have to impress them. She didn't have to let others take advantage of her. She just loved.

I would love to know how she balanced that with seeming flawlessness. She seemed to always do everything with a flare of ease and elegance. I could use more of her graciousness and beauty.

This post didn't go where it started.  But it is what it is...My thoughts at this moment.  Me...Real and exposed.  It doesn't have to impress or win any awards, right?  And that's just fine. :)    

This beautiful flower was one of the flowers from my Granny's funeral...It's sweetness brought out more in this photo surrounded by the harsh texture of the lifeless stump.