Why I am saying goodbye to photography

(I cannot tell you how many times I’ve written a message like this one so it's time to make things "official.")

When love (or a dream) is involved, costs become clouded. I feel that I’ve been living on that cloud for too long now.

After my oldest daughter moved away, the costs of doing photography for others became more clear. With the mother/daughter bonding element removed, what I saw was many many hours spend catering to my pursuit of photography (studying, research, preparation, emailing, updating, investing resources, editing, etc.). Most of these hours were spent at a computer with my back turned to my family. Many nights I was up so late in order to keep from taking time from my family that I was constantly exhausted. That isn’t the life that I want.

In addition, our family and friends support base has been diminished over the past couple of years. My time became more limited and my shooting opportunities more rare.  I felt myself giving more of myself in life and getting less in return.  After almost 20 years of selfless giving to friends and family in some specific areas of my life, I have found myself surrounded with only my core of loved ones.

So, to be honest, I'm not saying goodbye to photography all together just narrowing my focus in a major way. :)


So what changes am I making? 

As 2014 began, I started working to present my portfolio to a specific agency. I was offered and accepted a contract with that agency in March. I am having to “learn the ropes” but it should offer me the opportunity to shoot things without taking away as much time from my family responsibilities.

At this time, I have decided to reserve my portrait shooting primarily for family. This should still allow me to do what I enjoy without the pressure of satisfying those who are not invested in what I do.

 As a result of this change in focus, I am able to spend less time on the computer (including social media) and more time with those who love me and are present in my life.
As many of you know, I am intensely family oriented. As a mom, a wife and a home school teacher, they deserve the best of me…and they need me more now.

The past couple of years have reinforced things that I hold to be true in my life.
*It’s hard to let go but sometimes holding on is harder. 
*Time is a priceless asset and we can never have enough of it with those who love us (and with those we love). 
*Creativity is a gift. It should be used wisely. 
*Life is about choices and each one comes at a cost…sometimes we just refuse to see the cost. 
*Looking for satisfaction/acceptance outside yourself is only a temporary high. 
*Don’t let that which is most precious to you slip away while you grasp at a dream that may not be yours to hold. 

A big THANK YOU to all those who have supported me…especially my family. I sincerely hope that the images I have done for others have found themselves in homes where they are loved, because I didn’t take lightly the opportunity to capture lasting memories.

I do not rule out returning to shooting for others in the future but now just doesn‘t seem to be my time. I’ve worked too hard for this dream.  It's time to let it go.  I hope my images continue to make people smile.  I hope I’ve made a difference somewhere along the way.
  
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.  ~Unknown

So, with those things in mind, it's off into the sunset I ride... :)

The Importance of The Cake

My youngest daughter has a unique outlook on most things in life. Her birthday is no exception.

When my oldest daughter started having birthdays, I would plan a party every year. When she was young, that meant mostly family. When she was older, that meant for friends. My oldest daughter picked a theme and I designed some decorations and activities for her and her friends.
Then there was the cake. I enjoyed decorating her cakes. Mind you...I am NOT an expert on cake decorating by any stretch of the imagination. It was more about the love. When she was little, I had no money. Therefore, I creatively applied myself to give her decorated cakes and cute decorations. Her parties were then unique. She seemed to enjoy that her parties were different. I hope that was the case.

Then came my youngest daughter. Her yearly birthday celebrations started off the same kind of way...But then it became something else. You see...My youngest daughter's life isn't filled with happily squealing young friends like my oldest daughter's life was. So, that isn't her focus. Her focus isn't even the gifts (although she likes those too). Her focus is the cake.

Like I did my oldest daughter, I would ask my youngest for a theme. She would give me some theme for me to start planning. Early on, she started having an idea what kind of cake she wanted. Every year, she became more detailed about what she wanted. As with my oldest daughter, I poured my love into designing the cake requested.

Finally, her details were an absolute design for what the cake should look like (what kind, icing flavor, theme, what should be included, every little detail). She told me what she wanted and it was up to me to bring her vision into reality. This collaboration became the main focus of her birthday.

She gives me details ~ I incorporate a design ~ and she oversees every detail.

When it's all done, it becomes this visual representation of my love, her ideas and our creativity. I'm looking forward to seeing the final product of where her vision takes us this year. :)